Sorry for the delay. It is tough being a full time blogger when you are also a full time student taking 18 credits in the middle of finals while also maintaining a part time job working for my University’s Athletics Department. But I manage to pull it off since I have the brain capacity of someone who possesses the IQ of 146. I wrote two essays that were final exams today, started them this morning, they were due at midnight, and they were a cumulative of 16 pages worth 45% of my grade in two classes. While the research was done before hand, pretty ballsy move of me to start the morning they were due. Mom and Dad, wait till my grade gets back I guarantee B+’s or higher.
But back to the real issue, if you have anything in between your two ears you are aware of the stunt I pulled last Friday. I handcuffed myself to the Smoothie King Center to get Gentry and Demps fired only to attract 7 police officers who refused to arrest me but made me uncuff myself. After hours of negotiations, we came to the agreement that I would not get arrested, buy myself tickets to the Warriors Pelicans game which occurred last night and bring the same gear in the same attire in the same act of a peaceful demonstration.
Tickets weren’t cheap but thanks to hitting a 10 team teaser I was able to afford them. 15 Rows behind the Pelicans bench. It was absolute golden perfection. Heres the conundrum though, they don’t fucking allow signs in NBA arenas. They claim that they obstruct viewership. Well you know what else obstructs viewership? Fucking the crazed Pelicans fan in front of me who stood up the entire game and had a bigger afro than Gerald from Hey Arnold. Literally me being the respectful dude I am I was only gonna hold the signs during timeouts and if the people behind me said they cant see I would have kindly apologized and put them away. After arguing for 15 minutes over throwing away my sign with the woman who scanned my ticket and checked my pockets to make sure I wasn’t bringing a concealed carry on or anything else illegal I threw away my signs and started bugging out. But big brained Jake realized something: my tickets were printed out sheets of paper.
So what do I do? I go to the giftshop and buy a sharpie pen with the stupid Pelicans logo with the intent of making a sign on my ticket. I make the same said sign, and minutes before tip off walk to the front row with my signs and started yelling fire Gentry, fire Demps. Again, the corrupt NOPD sent over 5 cops to me and told me I would have to leave on hand cuffs if I would like to continue my antics in an attempt to accomplish my goal. Well, having dropped a hefty penny for the tickets to be able to watch Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Kevin Durant (who I so very much despise but he is a 7 ft. gazelle with the shooting touch of Ray Allen and an incredible sight to see in person) and the ball kicking Draymond Green. I pussied out and told the police officers I was sorry and will return to my seat and act respectfully. One thing is for sure: I am gonna get those two clowns fired and I am going to do so in a way that gets me viral.