Humble Bagel is a bagel establishment in Uptown New Orleans and it is decently decent. Doesn’t compare to a New York or Boston bagel place but it suffices for New Orleans. However, they dont do phone orders. But Guess what? I am elite and pulled the fastest one in the history of fast ones. I put my balls on the line and table and it worked out sufficiently. I called to which they said they dont take phone orders. So I sacked up. I requested to speak to upper management in which the kind female responded by saying she was upper management. Thats like a deadly curve ball on the first pitch. I did not know what to say other than my own response to the curve ball. “I’ll pay double for a dozen” ” No sir, we don’t do pick up” Fuck. The emotions going through my mind were horrific. Its a saturday and i needed a bagel. So what did I do? I tripled the offer to which the generous lady responded if you get here by 11:00 AM then we will put aside a dozen and cream cheese. I hopped in my high horse entered my nissan vehicle and started busting my ass/vehicle to the store. Once I entered the store it was like a cattle car. Small establishment filled to the brink with hungover and hungry purchasers. But guess what? I got there before 11:00 AM and made a raucous to ensure they knew I was the one who called. They let me cut the entire pissed off line to get my bagels and it was arguably the most elite moves ive made in the history of elite moves ive made. They told me i didnt have to pay a cent more than the cost it actually costs and my 11 grateful friends who enjoyed the bagels with me paid me for their breakfasts.

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