Here is Crystal Marie Denha, a beautiful woman of the Islamic sect who appears to be one of the hottest and most attractive females I have ever laid my godly eyes on. Now hear me out, despite my insanely attractive, Leonardo Dicaprio/Ashton Kutcher/George Clooney-esque looks, I don’t get around nearly as much as I should. I have only gotten with three different religions [if you count Catholicism and Protestantism as two separate religions (screw you King Henry for confusing the shit out of me)] and two separate ethnicities. Seeing this goddess from the gates of heaven makes me question not only my game (or lack thereof) but question my integrity. I am better than that. I am not discriminatory, bigoted, or any of those terrible terms that pretty much all mean the same thing. Ladies, I am single, ready to mingle and going to make a lot of money some day and gonna leave my future elite children with none of it. Give me 5 minutes with Crystal and all I will need is 3 of them.

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